


Please Don't Go

by spacegirlstuff



Series: Suptober 2020: Supernatural [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel and Dean Winchester Fight, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Heavy Angst, Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), Hurt Dean Winchester, I Blame Tumblr, I Tried, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Suptober 2020 (Supernatural), What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:42:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27231442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacegirlstuff/pseuds/spacegirlstuff
Summary: Suptober 2020Prompt: 19. Pour One Out~~~"Dean please-,"the angel spoke in a small voice, trying to reason, but Dean couldn’t stop."Do us all a favor,"he had interrupted with venom in his voice,"The next time you leave, don’t ever come back!""If that is what you want, Dean."the angel had said at last.Moments later, the bunker door slammed shut.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Suptober 2020: Supernatural [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1986451
Comments: 8
Kudos: 59





	Please Don't Go

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the song 'Please Don't Go' by Joel Adams.

_'Most nights I pray for you to come home,_

_Most nights I hardly sleep when I'm alone,_

_I think of you whenever I'm alone,_

_So please don't go.'_

_~~~_

Dean Winchester sat alone in the bunker kitchen pouring out yet another glass for himself. This was probably his seventh drink. Or was it the eighth? He was not sure. And honestly, he didn’t care. The hunter stared at the amber liquid resting at the bottom of the glass, trying to block out the thoughts that were running around in his head. 

Three months. That’s how long they had gone without any major disagreement. Three months of pure bliss. For the last three months, each morning he had woken up to hooded blue eyes, a sleepy smile, and a sweet kiss on the lips. Exactly three months ago, he had confessed his feelings to his angel in the middle of the night on the way back from a hunt. Three months ago, he had first kissed the angel whom he had been in love with for as long as he can remember and since that day, he had not gone a single day without those kisses. 

But now, sitting in the deserted room, nursing an almost empty bottle, he was sure that he would never kiss those pink lips ever again. 

An entire decade of pining and three months of contentment, all of it gone in less than a minute. Everything they had ever fought for was now in ruins just because he couldn’t keep his damn mouth shut. Grabbing the glass, he hurled it across the room.

The sound of the smashing glass echoed against the walls of the kitchen. Dean looked down at the broken shards scattered on the floor. He could feel his eyes prickle and vision blur, but he did not dare to close them. Because if he did, he knew that all he would see is a pair of blue eyes filled with pain.

It had been roughly three hours since the angel had walked out of the bunker, the deafening sound of the closing metal door making the hunter flinch. He had stood there in the middle of the war room for almost half an hour, staring at the door, hoping that the angel would come back.

_ He didn’t. _

Sam and Jack had retreated to their rooms as soon as the yelling had started, and now more than five hours later, neither of them dared to come back out. 

Dean’s mind went back to the last time the angel had walked out on them, another night, almost a year ago. But he had returned that time. This time, Dean was not sure if he would.

_ You didn’t give me a choice.  _ The words from almost a lifetime ago echoed in his brain, _ You were too angry. I left, but you didn’t stop me. _

He had promised himself that day that he would never let the angel walk out like that ever again. He had promised the angel that he would never let him go, not again. He had made a promise, and he had broken it. He had failed one of the simplest tasks ever. All he had to do was call out the angel’s name, ask him to stop for a second, plead him to stay. But he hadn’t and now the angel was gone. Dean hadn’t held on tight enough, and now the best thing that had ever happened to him was slipping through his fingers. 

Dean collapsed onto the ground, the broken pieces of glass sliced his skin open. But he could hardly feel the sting over the numbness that had seemed to settle on his mind. He pressed his hands to his face, his palms digging into his eyes, trying to stop the wave of tears streaming down his face. 

He could still hear the angels’ voice as he had delivered the dreadful news over the kitchen table earlier that evening. 

“I may need to go back to heaven,” he had said, looking down at the table as to avoid eye contact, “They have called me back because they want me to lead the new angels, train them, help them understand the world, guide them.”

Dean had hardly almost dropped the plate in his hands, eyes fixed on the angel.

Sam was the one who broke the silence. In a calm voice he had asked, “So when will you be returning?”

“If I go,” The angel had looked up at the younger Winchester with guilt-filled eyes, “I’m not sure when I will be back.”

“But you will visit us, right?” Jack had questioned.

The angel had given the Nephilim a small, sad smile in answer. 

Dean didn’t know what happened after that, but the next thing he remembered, he was standing in the middle of the kitchen shouting at the angel, his brother, and the kid nowhere in sight. Sooner rather than later, the angel had finally reached the end of his patience. And then, as the night had continued, so did the screaming. At least until the silence had encompassed the ancient hideout.

_ This is it, Cas!  _ Dean had shouted, _ All you ever do is leave us all the fucking time. It’s like the only thing that you are good at. Why can’t you just stop for a moment and look at what you are doing? Why do you make us go through that again and again? Do you have any idea how much it hurts us? Hurts me? You are not the one who has to witness Jack’s smile fall each time the bunker door opens and it’s not you entering. You are not the one who feels the hopelessness as each day passes by and none of us hears a word from you. Why can’t you just stay for once and stop torturing us like this? _

_ Dean please-, _ the angel spoke in a small voice, trying to reason, but Dean couldn’t stop. 

_ Do us all a favor, _ he had interrupted with venom in his voice,  _ The next time you leave, don’t ever come back! _

He had felt the regret creeping into his bones the second the words had left his mouth. He wanted to take them back, wanted to apologize, wanted to tell the angel that he didn’t mean them, that he was not thinking straight. But he couldn’t move. He was unable to do anything other than stare down at the ground.

_ If that is what you want, Dean. _ the angel had said at last.

Dean’s head snapped up just to look at the angels’ blue eyes filling with hurt. The angel had looked away hastily, walking out of the kitchen before the hunter could utter even a single word. Moments later, the bunker door had slammed shut. 

Dean took a shaky breath. Wiping a tear rolling down his face, he knew that he had to fix this. This was way too important for him to mess it up like this. No matter what it took, he had to find a way to make it right.

With trembling hands, he took out his phone from his pocket. Hardly pausing to give himself a thought, he clicked on Cas’ contact.

_ My Angel. _

“Please, please, please pick up,” he whispered to himself anxiously.

After the fifth ring, the angel accepted the call. 

“Cas?” 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> You can read the next part of this [here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27243463)  
> Hope you all like it!  
> You can find me on [tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/spacegirlstuff)  
> Kudos literally make my day.  
> Drop by in the comments and tell me what you all thought about this.


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